Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Worst Week of the YEAR!

Yup yup.. Last week was the worst week of the year so far. I am very very very down since Friday till yesterday. Sorry to let all my friends worried about me. I just don't want to talk about it that time. Since its over already, I think I should at least give an explanation to my concern friends. (To be frank, till now, the my burning heart is still flaming.)

What happen last Friday was, I have been accused by my lady boss for something which I did not do. I have told the issue to her and she replied by saying "Nope, you did not say anything about it. You should use your brain, don't be so stupid lah" The words ran into my ears, pass through my heart and cut it then shot straight up to my brain and give it a hard know. I am utterly shattered by her words. She was the one who ask me to hold on first as she is busy to discuss the issue, the next moment when the timing is over, she just put the blame on me. I have been working in this company for the pass 10 years and this is wad I gain.. Sad, sad is the only word I can say for now.. My heart sank right to the bottom of my heart. Guess nothing can carry it back until I leave the office for good. I told myself, its okie, tomorrow will be a better day. Who knows! Saturday is another hard time to pass. Early in the morning, she brings up the whole topic again. When I tried to explain, she throw another word to me "Wrong is wrong, no need to explain, we need to admit we are wrong" I simply refuse this words to enter me, but it just force its way right into my heart and stab it. Yes, if I am in fault, I will admit it. Friends around me knows me well, if I did something wrong, I will definitely admit it. (Gan (3) Zuo (4) Gan (3) Dang (1)).. I am not a tortoise. But this time, I am not at fault at all.. How to admit fault when I am not at fault? I keep asking myself this question but till date still no conclusion. From then, my tears keep dropping, I simply can't concentrate on my work and thus spend my time waiting for log off. The thinking of staying in the office for the next seconds kills me. Once the clock strike 1330hrs, I pack my bag and leave the office even when the phone is ringing like someone calling 999 for help.. I DON'T GIVE IT A DAMN.

Then after reaching home, hoping to have a peace of mind and cool myself down, so I plan to bring NIKI for a basic grooming. I love to have hubby's and NIKI's accompany whenever I am down. After NIKI's grooming, feeling a bit better, I decided to meet up Yvonne. Initially supposed to meet her for shopping but due to my emo which I didn't wanna affect her, I decided to give it a miss. But after NIKI's grooming, I think I should meet Yvonne up for a dinner or so for repaying back the aeroplane I put on her. Near to 8 plus, I drove her to her KI TOH LOK gang for a BBQ. And meet up Jac, Xue Er, Elvin, Alex & Alan. They are a cute bundle of friends to mix with. Rather a more open friends and those which kept everything in the heart and planning for something evil to sabotage you. "Yvonne, glad that you have them as your friends, and thank you for recommending them to me. Got chance can join in you KI TOH LOK gang with hubby". After all these event feeling better till Sunday.

Who knows, Monday is another shit again. My manager told me on last Wednesday that she have not enough shift to plan the manager roaster when I requested to work on Public holiday 10am to 3pm. When she said she had not enough shift and ask me to work from 8am to 3 pm, I agreed as I don't want another manager to suffer cos of me. But when I ask the roaster on Monday, I came to know that she herself and her favourite mgr was off on that day. WTF is this, you are telling me you got not enough shift on that day and yet she plan herself and her favourite to off on that day.. What is the world coming too? Out of anger, I decided not to give her any roaster for the next week, guess wad she smsed me. "Berlin, you really cannot work meh. I really got not enough shift" I replied "Sorry, my boss is giving me the GST account to consolidate" (this is true, she is really giving me the account) then she smsed again "Really cannot help ar. If I got shift where got I ask you to contribute de.. Up to you lah, you see urself lah." I didn't replied her after that. I feel like telling her, every time you would tell me you have not enough shift and yet its either you work on mid shift or take AL or there are times, which we don't see you walking in if there is another manager working with you. I do not wish to bring out everything single things she had done here. In Chinese saying Wen (4) Xin (1) Wu (2) Kui (4), I don't care if she complain to "HIM". I won't give it a damn.

Till now, my burning heart is still flaming. I seriously considering to convert back to a staff rather then staying in this political management which we are always the sacrifices. But don't worry about me friends. I will be okie in no time. I just need to vent out all my anger nia.. Prolly need a food therapy soon. Anyone care to join me..???

P/S : If you are reading my blog and knows who I am referring too and if so happen it is referring to you, I apologise for my bluntness. But this is what is in my heart, I have the right to say and slash out here.. If not happy, don't read then.

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