My Appraisal

Finally, the year is nearing to come to an end. Can't wait for the letter to come soon.

Boss had called me in this afternoon to talk about my appraisal. Basically, she had no issue and the points she gave me was almost the same as last year. Other than a few more criteria was added.

What caught me in surprise was a question she put to me. Pardon me for not able to disclose the question she had ask me. Probably if you wanna know, pm me and maybe I may disclose to ya.. Hehehehe.. Infact, I do not know how to answer the question she put across to me cos I, myself didn't have to answer too. So I told her, if she have got the answer, probably she could let me know.

Since the appraisal had been sign, I believe that the bonus letter will be here anytime. This is the time where we are looking forward. After so much of hardships, finally its been paid off.

This Saturday will be going to Malaysia for the company DND. I hope everything runs well and will be a fruitful and happy one. I wish this trip will change the bad to the good.

P/S : God loves me like he loves everyone. But he is always giving us test to go thru. I hope I will pass the test that god had given me..

Such A Long Time

I've not been updating my blog for donkey years. And I think I should start doing it.. How can I leave my blog unattended... Wahahaha..

Tiger year is not a good year for me. And I'm glad that its going to be over soon. Ermmm, say like another 2 mths more to go. Life has been up and down. Especially in my working life. It don't seem to go the way I wanted it to be. Guess maybe its time for me to go to another stage of my life. From sweet to sour and maybe to bitter. It really hurts me alot. I hope this thunder storm will be over soon and hope the sun will shine after that.

Good that, there is one good thing that happen ard me. Yvonne finally got married. She finally found her Prince Charming. Glad that she had finally found the one and only one. Hope Ben will love and give her the tender love. Yvonne! I wish you have a blissful marriage..

Woot.. There are so many many things that I wanna pen down. But still I need to keep away for certain things. I do not wanna things to get worst..

Alright. I'm gonna go sleep le. Still feeling weak from my flu and cough. Even though after 2 days of MC, I'm still not getting any better, its getting worst I guess.

P/S : Mr Flu and Ms Cough, pls go away. Allow me to recover soon. The heart is still bleeding. I hope everything will change for good.

The busy work week

Catherine had been on leave for the past one week. And this one week is the most tough and tiring week for me. Stress level had move up to the red alert zone and I'm getting sleepless nights due to nightmare.

After surviving thru this week, it makes me feel more worried. Having the thought of Siti going for maternity leave makes me mad. Can't help but keep wondering if boss will get a temp staff to take over Siti.. Haiz, throw this aside. Let boss do the decision and all we can do is to sit and wait for the good news to come.

Although the stress level had gone up. I've never forget to cheer myself and my teammates up. Joking is always my strong point. Talking nonsense and making funny faces will never be missed. Oh Yah! Appraisal is just around the corner. I've been thinking how would I fare. Will I get the one I expected or just the other way round.. I wish and wish the best will be on my side.. Please wish me well.. I hope for my LV bag... And nvr to forget my holiday trip on March too..

Pray, pray, pray hard... ZZzzz...

It's Been Sometime

Hey peeps! It's been sometime that I've been MIA from my blog.. Recently had been really busy with my office work. Need to clear the bad lots fast as one of my colleague is going for her maternity leave soon.

Hubby is going to KL for his business trip with both of his managers.. Sigh.. A little worried abt him being alone overseas especially with 2 other men who don't really behave. Guess have to check him out a little tight ba.. Having worry that he might injured himself while working, worry that he might not take his meals regularly and many many other worries. He is a big boy to me.. A big big dear boy to me..

Feeling guilty for the past few weeks. I've promise Yvonne that I will sure never miss her baptism but end up still I didn't attend. Feeling very bad and can't help but thinking if she will be disappointed with me as a bestie and yet did not attend. "GAL, So So So So Sorry... Pls forgive me for missing out." Hope you will forgive me wor...

Oh yah! I'm going holiday on October loh.. Tioman is the place I've always wanted to go. The beach, the sun and nvr to miss the snorkeling.. Counting down in another 3 more weeks to go. Alright gonna sign off now.. Shall be a short post.

P/S : Gal, sorry for making you disappointed. Hope to have time for a little catch up ba..

Officially counting down!

Above is the countdown of my days left in CHM. To be frank, its not easy. Having to know that they are pricking bones out from the egg and yet you can't do anything to stop it. All I can do now is to endure the pain and hope time flies. With all the jobs that I have to rush to complete before I leave is really stressful.. Ever after I've tender, I'm feeling very stress and can't sleep well at night.

My body seems can't coordinate with my brain anymore. I feel like my body is going to give way soon. Hoping for my short trip to come soon before a fresh start of the new job. Guess probably I should head down to Polyclinic to get an MC from the doctor for my insomia due to stress. The sleepless night is really killing me. I don't know how long more I can endure with the lost of my beauty sleep..

People around me are all getting sick. Especially my dear Yvonne, she have been down with her flu bugs for a long time and recently she is getting from bad to worst. Due to flu virus attack her voice box, she finally lost the battle, she lost her voice!! Supposed to meet up last Sunday with her BF Adrain to go Changi Airport T3 to eat Popeye then go prawning de. But all thanks to her flu bugs, we have to cancel the whole plan. Wondering if we can make it this Sunday mah? Peeps, pls take very good care of yourself and don't fall sick till like Yvonne. She had bedridden for the past 1 week. Get well soon babe!

Short post for this. Will write another one soon.

Everything ends here

Finally I have the courage to tender my resgination to her. Till now, my mood is like a roller coaster. One moment high up to the sky and next it drop to the bottom of the hell..

She called me just now and we had a chat. I told her I wanted to have an environment change and feel really bad. Infact, I treasure all the times while working there. I love the work but not the environment. Lotsa things had happen and is making my character starting to change. It is rather annoying as it is affecting my hubby too. Deep in my heart and my brain, I really don't bear to leave the place. Probably like what Princess Yvonne had said, I'm having this feeling cos I'm leaving my comfort zone. Initially, I don't want to admit it but till now after the tendering, I had to admit it. Yes, I can't bear to leave my comfort zone. Too be frank, who will want to leave their comfort zone and try out another one.

I very much want to let her know that I really appreciate the helps she have given me and her care and concern she had for me. It's hard to describe but I hope she understand my heart's word.

Since everything is gonna end here. I hope my next starting point will be a good one. Having to start everything all over again is not easy but I believe I can battle with it. I need you guys to cheer for me wor. Give me all the lucks you have wor..

Last but not least. I wish her, him and the company well. Hope everything sail smoothly for them. And not forgetting, from the bottom of my heart once again I would like to take this opportunity to thank them for whatever they had given me.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH

*Bowed*

Being a Dumb

Don't get offended by my title of my blog wor.. I am just trying to express out my feelings of being unable to talk / talk well..

I was attack my flu bug and had lost the battle since Tues. So now the virus had attack my throat and the throat is now infected. Due to the throat infection, I have lost the ability of talking / talking properly now.. On Wednesday nite, out of a sudden, I've lost my voice, which I dunno wad is the cost at that time. So on Thursday, I just go to work as per normal. When I reach office and start to battle, I notice that I simply can't talk properly. Down the whole day, the most single word I heard from others is "HUH".. Arrggghh.. So about 1545, I took half day and went to see doctor..

After diagnose, the doctor said that my throat was infected by virus and he said that my ear might be attack too.. He had given me some swell medication for my throat and antibiotic to complete the course. He even given me double dosage for the antibiotic as I told him I am going for holiday tomorrow..

Now, even thou. I was given 2 days MC. I am still in the office working. Then this bloody idiot (the manager) gave me attitude.. I just shot him and email cos it really pissed me off.

I don't know if its cos you are busy.. If you feel offended if I ask you the 2nd time when I don't understand what you trying to say. Then pls send me an email to tell me..

I can't hear well and talk well cos of infection. I am supposed to be on MC today. If you really that pek chek in talking to me den tell me, I will take the MC and ask June to send down Dorlyn.. Just don't throw your temper..

If I know, I have to suffer this type of attitude, I would have just take the mc and rest at home. KNN.. Damn pissed off now.. Let me go cool down first.. Bye..

After so long

Haven't been online to update my blog frequently recently. Either I am in foul mood or I am too tired or too busy..

My mood for the past few weeks is like roller coaster. I do not know where to start as its like shattered pieces in my brain.. Plus, I don't really want to reckon back the bad memories. All I can say, my heart is dead towards my full time job and also my part time job.. My enthusiam seems lost in both my jobs. I find it rather hard for me to spend my worthwhile time on them. All I do now is, go to work then go home after work. No more additional feelings will be put in. To be frank, I seriously hate this kinda feelings but but.. (unless things gonna change for good)..

Over the weekends, We (me, Karen, Royce, Vincent & Geling) celebrated hubby's birthday at the chalet.. Guess what? I just got to know yesterday from Yvonne that she was at the chalet too. Hahaha.. So coincidence but ofcos we did not meet up.. Had taken some photos on the celebrations, will upload the photos soon.

And in another less then 9 days, I am heading to Korea for my long holiday. Although for only 8 days but I really hope it helps me. I need to recharge my engery in work. Hope I come back with a better luck and all the "Xiao Ren" will leave me for good...

Something is keeping in my heart which makes me really uneasy and all of us jollywell knows that a heavy thunderstorm is gonna happen after the holiday. But the true will have to be disclose soon. Shall update till then when its time to come to a light. I only pray everything will remains the same as it is now.

An Email to her...

Some what I am feeling better though I am still in this sickening office. The moments of me sending out my resume via emails is making me tremendously happy. Whenever my HP ring, I will be a little over high. Why the fark am I so happy. Simple.. The thoughts of me leaving this place is making me happy and I am seriously very happy.

Another thing which is making me happy is cos I've send her an email to pour out all my unhappiness. And today, she sounded very polite without all her sarcastic words. (I supposed she knows that I am about to resign soon)

Hi JXXX,

It takes me lots of courage to type out this email which carries all my troubles from the bottom of my heart.

I do not know why this afternoon you were asking me about if our side is very busy and you are wondering why our side got so many hiccups since no much cases. To be frank, recently, lots of reporting cases over at my side. You may say that I could have just pass the form too them but some of them do not understand English and want us to file for them. Other then reporting case, I still have the driving instructor cases.. Renewals, prepare and post out to them and new cases is rather alot for the past few days. I am trying hard to clear it fast as its the early week of the month.. Pls don't get the wrong idea of me complaining my workload, to be frank, I am fine with the workload but I need some time to clear it especially early weeks of the month.

As for the estimate, I seriously have done my best to chase him for it.. But all he tell me is he is very busy ask me to wait if not other wise he would just keep mum.. I am at the verge already. I don't know what can I do.

Probably, you could advise me what have I done wrongly so I can try to change from there. I also don't want to have anything unhappy among employer and employee.. I also wants to apologise to you for my harshness lately as I can't stand his nonsense.. He is the one giving problem and ended up everyone gets the blame which I feel unfair.. I always don't understand why he is always busy and yet not in the office nor workshop. I am sorry if I am not lessening your burden in works but giving you problems.

Thanks.

Rgds,
Berlin Lim (Ms)

Sounded emo, sounded pissed off.. Yes I am! Yesterday in fact I am emo and pissed off. They drove me to a corner where I can't take it any longer and I chose to vent it out via email to her. I don't want to suffer any longer.. It's enough of nonsense.

Alright, signing out now.. Mood very good so far.. Need to *pops* champagne lohhh.. Bye..

Am I Really Tired?

With each day passing by, the thoughts of resigning is getting stronger very single day.. I am still holding on to it (I seriously don't know for what particular reason. Prolly, I feel that I have owe them a favour.

Every single working day is like a roller coaster to me. My mood will be very nice in the morning but half way thru the morning before lunch, nonsense starts. Lady boss will start to talk sacarsticly or humiliate me with words like "use abit of your brain / cannot help our side here arh, you side so free but sounded like busy" The fact is she doesn't know what is going on my side, she would just spill out all the words. Worst part is she doesn't even give me the chance to tell her what the hell I am suffering in the office. I have to picks up the phone, attend customer over the phone and walk in customer at the same time. I have to type the estimate for the vehicle damaged, do insurance invoicing and renewals. How the fark can I be free as she tots.

No business, she vent her anger on me. Too busy, she too vent her anger on me.. I had enough!! I no need any appreciation from them but I just don't want to be her anger vent machine. I have send out a few application for new jobs. If I can find a suitable one, I will not hesitate to wait for the bonus, I will give her the letter with a 3 mths of notice..

Haiz.. My morning and the rest of the day is just ruin by one phone call from her.. I HATE THAT KINDA FARKING FEELING.. Day by day, I am changing into a zombie. How about you? Love your job? Love your environment? Love your bosses? Me? NOPE I am getting sick of it.. THEY ARE JUST PAIN IN THE ASS! (no more pain in the neck)

Worst Week of the YEAR!

Yup yup.. Last week was the worst week of the year so far. I am very very very down since Friday till yesterday. Sorry to let all my friends worried about me. I just don't want to talk about it that time. Since its over already, I think I should at least give an explanation to my concern friends. (To be frank, till now, the my burning heart is still flaming.)

What happen last Friday was, I have been accused by my lady boss for something which I did not do. I have told the issue to her and she replied by saying "Nope, you did not say anything about it. You should use your brain, don't be so stupid lah" The words ran into my ears, pass through my heart and cut it then shot straight up to my brain and give it a hard know. I am utterly shattered by her words. She was the one who ask me to hold on first as she is busy to discuss the issue, the next moment when the timing is over, she just put the blame on me. I have been working in this company for the pass 10 years and this is wad I gain.. Sad, sad is the only word I can say for now.. My heart sank right to the bottom of my heart. Guess nothing can carry it back until I leave the office for good. I told myself, its okie, tomorrow will be a better day. Who knows! Saturday is another hard time to pass. Early in the morning, she brings up the whole topic again. When I tried to explain, she throw another word to me "Wrong is wrong, no need to explain, we need to admit we are wrong" I simply refuse this words to enter me, but it just force its way right into my heart and stab it. Yes, if I am in fault, I will admit it. Friends around me knows me well, if I did something wrong, I will definitely admit it. (Gan (3) Zuo (4) Gan (3) Dang (1)).. I am not a tortoise. But this time, I am not at fault at all.. How to admit fault when I am not at fault? I keep asking myself this question but till date still no conclusion. From then, my tears keep dropping, I simply can't concentrate on my work and thus spend my time waiting for log off. The thinking of staying in the office for the next seconds kills me. Once the clock strike 1330hrs, I pack my bag and leave the office even when the phone is ringing like someone calling 999 for help.. I DON'T GIVE IT A DAMN.

Then after reaching home, hoping to have a peace of mind and cool myself down, so I plan to bring NIKI for a basic grooming. I love to have hubby's and NIKI's accompany whenever I am down. After NIKI's grooming, feeling a bit better, I decided to meet up Yvonne. Initially supposed to meet her for shopping but due to my emo which I didn't wanna affect her, I decided to give it a miss. But after NIKI's grooming, I think I should meet Yvonne up for a dinner or so for repaying back the aeroplane I put on her. Near to 8 plus, I drove her to her KI TOH LOK gang for a BBQ. And meet up Jac, Xue Er, Elvin, Alex & Alan. They are a cute bundle of friends to mix with. Rather a more open friends and those which kept everything in the heart and planning for something evil to sabotage you. "Yvonne, glad that you have them as your friends, and thank you for recommending them to me. Got chance can join in you KI TOH LOK gang with hubby". After all these event feeling better till Sunday.

Who knows, Monday is another shit again. My manager told me on last Wednesday that she have not enough shift to plan the manager roaster when I requested to work on Public holiday 10am to 3pm. When she said she had not enough shift and ask me to work from 8am to 3 pm, I agreed as I don't want another manager to suffer cos of me. But when I ask the roaster on Monday, I came to know that she herself and her favourite mgr was off on that day. WTF is this, you are telling me you got not enough shift on that day and yet she plan herself and her favourite to off on that day.. What is the world coming too? Out of anger, I decided not to give her any roaster for the next week, guess wad she smsed me. "Berlin, you really cannot work meh. I really got not enough shift" I replied "Sorry, my boss is giving me the GST account to consolidate" (this is true, she is really giving me the account) then she smsed again "Really cannot help ar. If I got shift where got I ask you to contribute de.. Up to you lah, you see urself lah." I didn't replied her after that. I feel like telling her, every time you would tell me you have not enough shift and yet its either you work on mid shift or take AL or there are times, which we don't see you walking in if there is another manager working with you. I do not wish to bring out everything single things she had done here. In Chinese saying Wen (4) Xin (1) Wu (2) Kui (4), I don't care if she complain to "HIM". I won't give it a damn.

Till now, my burning heart is still flaming. I seriously considering to convert back to a staff rather then staying in this political management which we are always the sacrifices. But don't worry about me friends. I will be okie in no time. I just need to vent out all my anger nia.. Prolly need a food therapy soon. Anyone care to join me..???


P/S : If you are reading my blog and knows who I am referring too and if so happen it is referring to you, I apologise for my bluntness. But this is what is in my heart, I have the right to say and slash out here.. If not happy, don't read then.

Random Photos!! (Finally I did it)

Alright, finally upload the some photos.. In fact I should have more photos to load up. But after browsing through it, I find some of the photos are few mths back liao.. Hahahaha.. So what I did, I deleted the photos away.. Hmm.. Guess Yvonne muz be yelling @ me now.. (Gal, pai seh ar, I lazy to upload so many at one shot, so I chose to delete the photos.)

Back to the photos.. Remember I mentioned before Yvonne's new buddy PRINCESS.. I've taken a few photos with her when I visited Yvonne @ Square 2 (yup yup, she brought her puppy to her shop)..


Look at her.. Isn't she cute.. Wahaahaha.. She look the same as NIKI when he was young.


She is so gorgeous.. Simply irresistible


Here is NIKI.. He is too tired after being chased by PRINCESS when I bring him to visit Yvonne


He seems a little pissed off with my N95 camera flash.. Wahahaha *Smirk*

Next is my outing with my KFC managers and staffs for one of my staff YuXiang's farewell. He is leaving for NS..


Yummy *Slurp* Our food BBQing wor.. Waiting and waiting and waiting.......


Enjoying our foods..


After our food, plannin for some games.


Our usual game, Zhong Ji Mi Ma.. Loser will have to use the charcoal and draw the face. So end up on 4 out of 9 player kanna..


Can't stop laughing after seeing each other's silly drawn face.

That's all folks.. End of all the photos.. I suppose I should be hard working to download the photo once I've taken it.. Had been lazy for the past few mths.. Too many functions to attend liao..

Errm.. Friends around me had been asking what happen to me on Friday and Saturday. Why am I so so freaking down for that day? Well, its all about office issue. I personally feels that the office sucks. I feel that my pride is totally tear down by my lady boss. I feel that I have been accuse of stuffs which I have not done. She don't give me the chance to explain why I did that, all she say "Wrong means wrong, no need to explain anymore.." with an add on "Use your brain lah, so stupid de meh.. Use your brain in future hor" Infact, I have use my brain but she refuse to give me the chance to make decision. I need to ask for her approval before doing anything. The fact is that she is busy with her own stuff and did not listen properly on my proposal and she push the responsibility when things happen.. Funny yah! Her late decision turns out to my fault and my no brain and my stupidity.. Enough, I have enough of all her insultations. I wanna return her the money and throw the resignation. I need my pride back, I want my confident back.

Actually Saturday was the worst day I ever had.. Totally no mood and had cried for several hours. (Find me stupid? Say me lousy. I just can't stand accusation.. I can't.. ) I decided to spend my time with NIKI instead of going out shopping with Yvonne. (Cancelled the appointment with her cos I do not wish to affect her with my mood). After bring NIKI for a nice trim cut and bath, I visited Yvonne. After which, She intro me to some of her friends at a BBQ session. Nice friends to mix with. But a little sad where Hubby wanna leave the place early as he was tired.

Yvonne, pai seh hor.. Did not stay late thought you friends are really fun.. Hope to invite you and them to Alan's Birthday BBQ @ Downtown East wor! Ke Yi Ma?

I think I should log off soon cos my eyes are shutting down real soon.. Don't even know what I am typing.. Not linking at all.. A lousy post I have written. But pls forgive me. Like the title say, its just a random post.. So I just type wad randomly came to me.. Good nite guys... Tataz!!

MMM = Mad Monday Morning

I am feeling really mad now.. Damn farking angry.. The anger is simply out of control.. If I were given a gun, I will shot him down with few shots.. If I were given bomb, I will bomb him up with all my bombs..

Early in the morning, give me all the nonsense. Have I done anything wrong? Why must talk to me in you farking attitude? Will giving you a tight slap wakes your farking idea? You thought I wanna know how everything goes with the case? You thought I very much love to check out what have you been doing with the case or you thought I wanna check if you are sleeping on the case? Let me say, I WOULDN'T GIVE YOU A DAMN. If not otherwise lady boss ask me, do you think I bother to talk to you about work. I CAN'T BE BOTHERED ABOUT YOU!! Stop making yourself like you are the saint, you are the boss. IN FACT PLEASE TAKE NOTE THAT YOU ARE NOT MY FARKING BOSS. You are just a farking slacking manager which I don't look up on you. You are just as simply useless as me. Both of us can't help bosses much and in fact we are always giving stupid problem to them.. YOU BETTER FARKING GET YOUR ASS OUT OF YOUR SEAT AND FARKING DO YOU JOB PROPERLY.

Let me tell you. In fact, I do not wanna much talk to you on works. I do not want to see you in the office in fact. Whenever you are on leave, I am so freaking happy. I am able to work peacefully. Let me tell you this, NO ONE loves to work with you. YOU ARE A FARKING FREAK ORGE.. YOU ARE WORST THAN SHREK..

I very much wanna change my attitude towards you in work but you wouldn't allow me to do so.. I am trying hard not to quarrell with you but you wouldn't allow. You just love to let me raise my voice at you when I talk to you, you love me to throw my face at you. You are just pathetic.. Enough said of all these nonsense. LEAVE ME ALONE!!! %*(#&*()&(*

(Stupid of me writing this post. He is not even reading a single words.. Fark! I am just hopping mad with his farking attitude to me..)

She is overboard

Arrrghhh.. I am really feeling right to the bottom of my mood since Monday. It's really outrageous! No chance of explanation and worst still no chance of speaking up for myself.

What the fark have I done wrong? I delivered what my lady boss request wor. But why still pick a bone out of an egg? I am trying my best to settle all my stuff amicably but also spare a thought for me. I am OMS (one man show) in the branch office, I have to attend phone calls from nonsense customer, attend walk in customer, do my monthly renewals, do my daily work stuff, do filing, do invoicing, do account and still have to do stuffs from HQ. Haiz, I don't mind so many stuff on hand and to be frank I love it. But please be nice to me. I know take other's money is to help people solve their problem, but I am also an human being, I have feelings too. At times, words use by her cannot be withstand. I do very much wanna raise my voice at her but I can't. She is my boss after all.

Resignation once again come knocking on my brain door. Resignation wanna talk to my brain and ask brain to leave for good. But I can't. I am still in debt to her, but I won't promise I won't leave after paying her back the money. Brain is getting weaker and weaker. Brain needs a break from her, if not otherwise, brain will do things which is abrupt and just leave like this.

Hope things will get better and so do my mood. I wanna have a peaceful working environment without any harsh issues falling on me. Please, don't hurt my dignity. Alright, brace up Berlin. Tomorrow will be a better one..

I feel hurt too

Haven't been updating my blog for the past week. I should say I'm rather busy with lotsa things. My mood for the past week is like high and low. Too many things had happen at one go which I very much hope I can help but I can't. I can't feel the pain of another, I can't feel the suffering of another. I do not know why the past week till now, I am feeling really down. Partly is cos all the things in my mind which I can't really solve and too my office.

Yes.. I am gonna whine about my office again. Ever since my return to office after my first attempt of resignation, I really regret that I did not listen to Lindy (my ex colleague). She told me my boss attitude will not change even if my boss know the actual reason for my leaving. She will change for a period but will come back to her usual self in no time. I chose to ignore what Lindy was trying to tell me and I regret now.. Back to the old job for about 2 years already. I find it more and more difficult to communicate with my boss. They seems to have lots of issue on me which me and my other colleagues don't find any wrong. It seems that whatever I do is wrong, or should I say nothing is right before. It's making my heart breaking seeing or feeling her tearing away my dignity. I am heartbroken to hear her saying me no brain, stupid, and many many more. Haiz.. I always tell myself, " Take people money is to help people settle their problem" But giving one too many jobs will turn the person off. I don't mind heavy workloads. But meanwhile giving me heavy workloads, don't you think that instead of telling me this and that no good why not tell me better words to make me feel good. I am worthless to the company although I am considered "Highly Paid" to her. My hard work doesn't contribute a single cents to the company at all. I don't worth a penny. Gosh! My tears are dropping, I feel my heart bleeding and is slowly killing me.

All these issues that I am facing now is like telling me, "Hey Berlin, You don't belong her anymore. You need to run away from this place forever and ever. You are not appreciated and why bother?" My final conclusion, I will leave for good in no time. I just want a happy working environment to work in. Even a small position, I also don't mind. I am really hurt now, I am really tired now. Whenever the phone ring, I feel that she is gonna called me and wreck happy at me then hang up the phone. Leaving me stone on the other side of the phone. I am scare of the phone now. I hope the phone will go mute for the time being.

I am finding ways now to bring my mood back to my usual self. I need to be happy. It's suffering to feeling sad and unhappy. I wanna cry to get back but I can't. I am a strong person in everybody's eye so I am not going to make them worry by breaking down. Don't worry, I will be strong enough to get through this phenomenon.

Is my Pain ease?

Finally, I am back to work after rotting @ home for the past few days.. Ofcos, my spine pain had been better. Went to the doctor for 2nd time on Sat, and this time round he gave me a strong dosage for the pain killer, and instead of cream to rub, he given me some plaster.. Oh, he also given me some sleeping pills. He wants me to sleep.

The past few days is like dreaming to me. I have been sleeping the whole day long, except for waking up to bathe and eat. Other than that, I have been sleeping. In fact till today, in office, I'm still feeling a little drowsy. I am like dreaming.. The pain is still there but had already ease a little. The doctor says that if the pain still persist for the next 2 weeks, I might need to go hospital for some physio. Haiz.. This time, my health is lighting amber..

I really hope that the pain will go off by the next 2 weeks. I hate going to hospital. I wanna be back to normal as soon as possible. Now what I have to do is to follow doctor's instruction. I have to walk around after sitting for 1 hour in office. I have to AVOID carry heavy things or bend too much as I need to give the spine a rest. Alright, I think that should be all. Any I should be able to blog slowly le ba since I can now tahan the pain for few hours liao.. See ya then..

Tired + Sleepy = Lazy Pig

Ever since I moved into my new house, I haven't been resting enough. From housewarming, to my birthday celebration, to mother's day celebration, to hubby's family members gathering, I have been waking up early and sleep late.. Since last week, I have starting to go down to Thomson to attend the NCC training. (Part time job). It means I have to wake up early again. Ofcos I have to wake up the same time again this Sunday wor.

Feeling my brain, hands, leg and eyes are not function properly. My brain can't help me think properly, my hands and legs are wobbly, and my eye lid keep shutting down automatically. Basically, I can't move anymore. I think my energy within my body is draining soon. And I mean real soon. I need a rest to regain my positive energy.. Rest without anyone asking me to do anything, rest with sleeping like dead log for the whole day. I need a holiday. Places besides the beach is definitely a good idea. Probably, I should check into a resort or chalet along the beach and take a day or two day break.. *Dreaming lying on the sand in a beach taking a nap* (Btw any sponsor for my holiday.) Looking forward to my Korea trip this year end. Hope nothing is gonna happen to ruin my long waited holiday.. *Pray*

Hmm.. NCC final is coming next week. Took a day leave to support our team @ Big Splash. Hope this year those little babies will do us proud. Grabbing the gold medal again. Flipping back the memories, it had been years since I last join NCC. Being the champion is always the tradition in Thomson KFC. We are so called the best of the best. People from other stores are scared of us when they know that we are joining in the NCC. And ofcos they will use unscrupulous ways to nail us down. Without knowing, we are the common enemy to other stores around in Singapore. Hmmm.. That's what we call the "eagles" in Thomson.

"Guys.. I know you all read my blog. Hope you will get the champion back and let the tradition runs without stopping and it shouldn't stop @ your hands."

Enough of all the pressuring words. Shall stop from here and get back to work.. Damn sleepy. I can't work. I'm a LAZY PIG... Going back into my dreams liao..

Just Here

Had just woke up from my nap.. HAHAH.. Yah my night nap.. Facing the papers full of figures and words are simply straining my eyes and making me damn tired..

Basically, I have nothing to blog today, but I just simply wanna write something.. Hmmm.. Let me see if there is anything for me to blog... (10 mins gone... 20 mins gone.. 30 mins...) Hmm.. Alright let's talk abt my work ba..

Finally had ask my office that stuck up manager to buy an external hard drive as he is going for a meeting somewhere near Sim Lim Square. He had bought the external hard drive which is not compatible to our office PC. Guess what, my office is still using MS 98.. Laughing your ass of the chair right? What an antique software our company is using.. Back to the topic. So I had call my lady boss to discuss regarding this issue. I have requested to upgrade the stuck up manager PC to XP so would be easier in any way and my PC to change a hard disk as it have been using for quite sometimes le.. After the discussion, she said she will order a brand new Dell PC for him (the stuck up manager) and later to change a new hard disk. Later we discuss to change our system. Using Excel to do our office stuffs, we are currently using Word Star.. Hahaha.. Another antique right.. :) For changing our format of working, we have to do it one by one.. Meaning we have to discuss it slowly and trial it out.

Alright that's for all my nonsense post... Sorry to bored you guys.. Hahaha.. Will find better things to blog tomorrow ba.. Good night.. *wink*